To honor AAPI Heritage & Mental Health month every May, I lead a “Tame the Tiger” group. This program was custom made for children of high-pressure backgrounds, such as immigrant families or “Tiger Parents,” to reconnect with self-love & unconditional worthiness.
WHAT IS THE TAME THE TIGER PROGRAM?
A 3-month course aimed to help those who grew up with high-pressure families to tame their inner Tiger that was birthed along the way.
The inner Tiger is our inner critic—harsh, critical, negative, relentless, demanding, perfectionistic, and unforgiving. It may beat you up over your every word, move, or thought.
You’ll know you have an inner Tiger if you frequently feel crummy, anxious, depressed, on edge, worried, nervous, hopeless, scared, guilty, ashamed, panicked, overwhelmed, lost, confused, empty, or restless, like you’re doing something wrong or rather, that something about you is wrong. You may struggle with big decisions, careers, relationships, trusting others, or more importantly, trusting yourself.
You haven’t ever been modeled what a safe home is, of compassion, forgiveness, gentleness, celebration, radical acceptance, and unconditional love. Especially one that is spacious and supportive of the natural messiness and mistakes of your humanity.
It doesn’t have to be this way. You can befriend your inner Tiger, let it motivate and hold you to high standards, but achieve all your dreams while feeling good and empowered, instead of ashamed and self-critical.
APPLY FOR THE PROGRAM HERE!
Questions or not sure if this would be right for you? Book a consult call HERE.
WHO IS THIS PROGRAM FOR?
Are you someone who feels the crushing weight of your high-pressure family’s expectations on your shoulders? Be it marriage, kids, or careers they want you to have… You’re a full-grown adult now and yet, expectations still hold a heavy weight over you?
Do you work so hard, but sometimes wonder what it’s all for? And not sure when you can finally relax, because there always seems to be more to do? Do you wonder when will all this that you do be enough? Or when you will ever feel enough, and be seen and loved for who you really are without strings attached?
This program was custom made for those who grew up with these crazy expectations, from others AND self. You may feel like a loser or failure for not meeting them, or find yourself being critical or judgmental of others too.
WHAT WILL BE THE TAKEAWAY AFTER THIS PROGRAM?
It depends on what areas most matter to you. Here are some examples of tangible skills and results:
Imagine…
- Generating your own happiness from within, regardless of external circumstances; not every day will be good, but you’ll be able to find something good in every day.
- Feeling at peace, a baseline joy & satisfaction, that everything in your life, exactly as is, is enough, AND you can move towards your goals & desires in a sustainable way, savoring every step of the journey.
- Feeling PROUD of who you are and all that you have, instead of focusing on what you don’t have (yet), punishing yourself or waiting until you have them in order to finally be happy.
- Dropping guilt & shame for not being the perfect daughter/son, separating out what is your responsibility vs. theirs, & create that balance of honoring them AND yourself too, where you give generously but don’t over-give, people-please or burn out
- Visiting relatives without drama; mean comments from ANYONE don’t affect you anymore because you KNOW they are not true and merely reflect their own negative filters or projections.
- Seeing & deeply KNOWING what a precious, unique, special person you are, in a new way or depth you have not before.
- Feeling safe to speak up in ANY situation with radical honesty & kindness, & stand up for your needs & values, whether in career, relationships, home life, etc.
- Shaping your life into a way that suits YOU & your unique values, rather than try to fit yourself in other people’s boxes.
- Feeling like you are truly THRIVING, living your best, most authentic, meaningful & purposeful life, UNapologetically
- Honoring your natural energy cycles, working WITH them, rather than against them.
- Problem-solving & making decisions more easily, quickly & efficiently, because your energy isn’t used up beating up or second-guessing yourself.
- Not being bogged down by past mistakes, regrets, or future worries, because you’re too busy actually living your most joyful and vibrant life.
- Managing your Tiger when it flares up, giving it a friendly snuggle, & moving yourself back to centered compassion.
…and more! (full list of benefits HERE)
WHAT ARE THE DETAILS OF THE PROGRAM?
LIVE Group Program cohort starts the end of May for AAPI & Mental Health Month (private 1:1 & self-study options also available)
- Weekly lesson (PDF, audio or video)
- Weekly 60 minute live group sessions x12 weeks
- Unlimited messaging support with reply in 48-72 business hours
- Private Whatsapp community group
- Resource library for in-between session integration (videos, workbooks, activities, readings)
Each live session structure:
- Group grounding or bonding exercise
- Authentic sharing (celebrations)
- Live 1:1 hot-seat coaching and/or Q&A about the lessons
- Closing summary + intentions for next week
- New accountability buddy pairing
- A suggested theme / Tiger Parent phrase for exploration & processing i.e.
- “Be a good girl / boy!”
- “Don’t cry!!”
- “Act your age!”
- “Respect your elders!”
- “Why not A+?!”
- “You sure no premed??”
- “No dating!! Why you not married yet?!” )
Bonuses: PDF bundle of Dr. Toni’s best resources, All-Access pass to events, 1:1 follow-up integration session, therapeutic art “Success Sketch,” Tiger playlist, custom guided meditation, dance party, + more!
- Tuition $888 (or $333/month)
- Early Bird Discount until May 15: $666 (or $250/month)
10% donated to a mental health charity of your choice!
Financial aid available for students & low-income countries. 1:1 support, hybrid & self-paced options ($88+) can also be discussed to suit your needs. Book a consult call HERE to discuss.
TAME THE TIGER SYLLABUS:
FAQS OF THE PROGRAM:
When will the group session times be?
We try to accommodate all students’ schedules, but you do not need to attend every session. Recordings can be available upon group consent.
Is this program only for people who had Tiger Parents?
NO! This program is open to anyone who struggles with an Inner Critic, which may have been birthed from personality tendencies or interactions with family, friends, media, or society in general. The lessons that involve healing relationships with parents may be applied to other difficult relationships.
Is there a refund policy?
Yes – if you are not finding the program beneficial within the first month, you may submit completed lesson work and receive a full refund.
How much of a time commitment would this be?
About 1.5-2 hours/week. You are welcome to take what resonates and leave the rest.
What IS coaching?
Coaching is a combination of holding a safe, nonjudgmental space, deep listening, and asking powerful questions to help someone arrive at insights and answers that are customized to them. It can be hard to explain; it’s something that is better experienced. If you’ve never worked with me before, I’m happy to gift you a 30-min sample session for an $8 coffee/boba at Ko-fi.com (book your session HERE).
WHY WORK WITH DR. TONI?
As a Chinese-American misfit, black sheep, and target for bullies (overweight, nerdy, androgynous-expressing, and a neurodivergent HSP Highly Sensitive Person, ADHD & OCD), with a level A+++ Tiger Mom who STILL calls me a “loser” & “failure” to this day…
I always struggled with a sense of belonging and FINALLY found home within myself, after a 20-year healing journey.
After my rock bottom moment at age 26 while skydiving, I realized medicine wasn’t right for me; I had completely burned out trying to please my immigrant Asian Tiger Parent family.
I had always lived for others, not thinking I was worthy of taking up space or being loved, unless I Achieved enough milestones to finally be “good enough.” I eventually broke down.
In piecing myself back together, I learned how to discover my inner love, unconditional worth, and belonging, and create inner safety & security so I could just be me, knowing that I am ENOUGH, just as I am, however I am. It made ALL the difference for my life, in every single area.
So now I empower, educate, and advocate for the oppressed and different, especially those from shaming upbringings. I help walk them home to see that they do and have ALWAYS belonged.
As an ex-gynecologist now family physician, cartoonist, nomad, sex educator, relationship coach & mental health advocate, I’ve expanded beyond all others’ boxes and carved my own authentic path that feels true to my soul’s fullest expression.
Life isn’t easy, but it has started to feel right and be full of joy and peace. In healing my own inner Tiger, I’ve improved the relationship with my parents and our entire generationally traumatized lineage as well.
I’m now here to spend the rest of my life guiding others back to their truth, through my art, writing, classes, or working directly together.
The truth that we ALL belong here, no matter what we do or don’t do. We have a unique shape & spot that only we can fill in this beautiful Universe. We don’t have to hide, twist, or change ourselves to be loved or “successful.” Your true self is MORE than ENOUGH.
I’m so glad we crossed paths in our journeys of De-Tigering & returning to our highest selves & greatest love, together.
PROGRAM DETAILS:
LIVE Group Program cohort starts end of May for AAPI & Mental Health Month (private 1:1 & self-study options also available)
- Weekly lesson via PDF, audio or video
- Weekly 60 minute live group sessions x12 weeks
- Unlimited 1:1 messaging support with reply in 48-72 business hours
- Private community group (Slack or Facebook)
- Portal of resources for in-between session integration (videos, workbooks, activities, readings)
Tuition $888 (or $333/month)
Early Bird Discount until May 15: $666 (or $250/month)
10% donated to a mental health charity of your choice!
Financial aid available for students & low-income countries. 1:1 support, hybrid, & self-paced options ($88+) can be discussed to suit your needs. Book a consult call HERE to discuss.
(Want a preview of this program, or to learn more about my work and missions? Check out my memoir & healing guide: “WHY YOU NO DOCTOR ANYMORE?! Honoring Your Family AND Yourself Too.” (email DrTooni@Mail.com for a free copy if in financial hardship)
Testimonials
“I loved the Tiger community! I initially was hesitant to open up, but the warmth, vulnerability, and genuineness of Toni and the rest of the group helped me feel comfortable to share more about myself, and my challenges. I appreciated that Toni really listened carefully and put a lot of presence, effort, and energy into supporting us and remembering even specific little details, analyzing and drawing new conclusions and ideas we wouldn’t have thought of on our own. I felt extremely seen and heard. It felt like seeing myself and my behaviors in the mirror in the other people of the group, and it was healing on a new level, even after years of therapy and working on myself in other ways. I highly recommend this program!”
–Kert E., Los Angeles, California
(RN & educator)
“Toni radiates love and light. Her incredible kindness, inspiration, compassion, and empathy make her an amazing mentor, coach, cheerleader, and confidante to have in your corner. With her guidance and unwavering support, you can unlock your fullest potential! Our sessions together always left me feeling safe, understood, and energized. During our session together, I experienced several “aha moments,” gaining newfound clarity on my next steps. Toni’s honesty, attentiveness, keen observations, and creative problem-solving offer invaluable insights, helping me see beyond challenges and discover endless possibilities. With newfound confidence, I took action and witnessed tangible results in less than a week! I can’t thank Toni enough for all her help!”
— T.C., Toronto, Canada
(government employee)
“As a coach, it’s really clear that Toni cares deeply about her clients. She approaches her work from a place of genuine concern, paying close attention to and holding space for her client’s story. I was really impressed by her attention to detail; her determination in helping brainstorm ideas went above and beyond the level of engagement I’ve seen from other coaches I’ve worked with. Rather than being told what to do, it felt like I had someone on my side who could help me untangle a challenging situation. Her compassion, thoughtfulness, and creativity all shine through.“
— K.Y., Taiwan
(engineer to writer)
More past client testimonials HERE.
Questions? Want to feel out if this is a good fit for you? Or inquire about scholarships? Book a free consultation with Dr. Toni HERE.