Summary: My Highlights and Lowlights of the year. It was a pivotal one.

Highlights / What went well / What I accomplished:
1) Published my Memoir on Amazon 5 years in the making of my journey thus far till age 35, from doctor to nomadic cartoonist! “WHY YOU NO DOCTOR ANYMORE?! Honoring Your Family AND Yourself Too” to help people-pleasers, codependents, recover their self-worth, find and assert their voice, and figure out what they really want from life. In a way that considers their loved ones too.

2) Facilitated my first cohort of “Tame The Tiger,” a 3-month empowerment circle and group coaching program for people struggling with the aftermath of being raised by harsh, strict, critical parents such as Asian Tiger Parents. Our group had a lot of healthcare workers, people who were groomed to serve others and became so burned out that they lost themselves in the process. It even culminated in us all meeting IN PERSON, no small endeaver since we were scattered all over the country. I was SO touched and grateful they flew me out for a surprise trip to meet them and for my birthday!!

3) The community turned into an ongoing membership “Tiger Fam” that continues to provide ongoing support, encouragement, and accountability. There are different tiers to be accessible to all, and I’m proud of figuring out inclusive pricing options so nobody gets left behind! Join us here if you’re curious.

4) Graduated from the Center for Thriving Relationships as a certified Relationship Coach for couples so I can offer 2:1 in addition to 1:1 coaching! It helped greatly in my own relationships as well, to learn 50+ tools to deepen intimacy, handle misunderstandings & misattunements.

5) Hosted in-person events for therapeutic art!! I love combining my passions into helping others also access their subconscious for new ways of healing <3 I also loved the in-person aspect, being able to have a home to host with TrustedHousesitters has been sooo delightful!!

6) Found even more creative ways to live well without needing to chase money, such as Housesitting! What a beautiful exchange that I love to do anyway, spending time with animals, meeting open-hearted & adventurous homeowners, and having a taste of home basing! My friend has even stayed in mansions worldwide in Australia and New Zealand and I hope to soon too!! Though I’ve been healing my money wounds gradually, there is still a part of me that can’t get over the lack of accessibility of my services if the prices are too high (but I became resentful and burned out when they were too low to honor my worth, time, energy, knowledge, and experience). I have loved solving this by creating different tiers that honor them AND me too, and offering a scholarship fund, and in some cases, a work exchange.

7) Deepened a friendship to a new level by working through some difficult feelings, thoughts, and misunderstandings that had been poisoning our connection for 2+ years. We were able to both stay calm, regulated, kind, thoughtful, open, and empathetic as we expressed ourselves and reached a new depth of love and understanding for each other. It gives me a glimpse of what a deep, authentic, emotionally intelligent relationship truly looks like, and expands my possibilities for future ones.

8) Attended 2 business conferences – Asian Wander Women Travel Summit in Taipei, Taiwan and Simone Seol’s Marketing in Las Vegas, USA. Met fellow amazing soulpreneurs, exchanged ideas, collaborated, and even held a few women’s circles!

9) Really LEANED into my collaborative nature (I’m a Libra moon and have a tonnn of Libra in my chart, if you’re into astrology haha, and I’m also a Projector in Human Design). I no longer feel shame that I’ve struggled as a solo-preneur. I LOVE doing things WITH companionship; the best things I have done in my life have been with or for others. I am highly others-motivated and that’s not a weakness but a strength if I harness it properly. And I might have ADHD and benefit highly from body doubling with in-person accountability. I signed up for my first Nomads Coliving & Coworking in Nepal for Feb and am excited to have an intensive experience with like-minded people!

10) Gathered a community for location-independent friendships – the “Nomads’ Nest” – people who are location-flexible and/or curious about traveling or nomading but don’t want to do it alone or simply want a taste/preview. I’ve put together guided trips, introductions, and experiences. I had always had a knack for finding events, meeting new people, integrating into a new & foreign community, and I’d be happy to make others’ journeys easier or introduce them gently to the wonders and glory of the Nomad Life.

11) Along this vein, I’m also putting together a location-flexible Global Conscious Matchmaking Directory. It’s hard enough as it is to date and find your life partner when you’re living in one place, confined to just local choices. What if you could connect with people all over the world, and they are screened and curated to make sure they’re truly ready & available for a conscious, committed relationship? A co-founder and I will be doing a beta test soon for “Loving Freely and Forever” for Valentine’s Day, message me if you’d like to join!

12) Was booked for 15 coaching calls as part of a volunteer month for the RYSE Professional Asian Network community, and also sold-out of my coaching slots for my mentorship pod for the Asian Wander Women conference. How amazing it felt to be in demand!

13) Hired a marketer but learned to trust, sharpen and deepen my own voice, style, self-trust, and perspectives. Realized that nobody had advocate for or express my dream as well as I can, and that I’m a decent marketer! Though many people use AI nowadays, I proudly hand-type and hand-draw all my work; I believe in the integrity of building work that is all my own.

14) Hosted relationship workshops for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) with The Healthy Sensitive and managed a Mighty Networks community!

15) Continued my podcast “Accept THEN Achieve”, both video & audio versions, with more ease and gentleness that it doesn’t need to be every week, just once a month is good! I’m more of a writer than a speaker, so I will be blogging more, and that’s perfectly OK. What matters is what’s sustainable.

16) Speaking gigs! My favorites were for Brown University mental health in STEM fields and for an NGO in Thailand helping children get an education. There were high rates of teen pregnancies and girls dropping out though, so I helped out by giving a talk on Consent, Boundaries, Healthy Relationships, and Mental Health. If you, an organization or someone you know would like me to come speak, message HERE or send me an email at DrTooni@Mail.com

17) Visited my grandma in China, the only remaining grandparent, even with “nothing” external to show – no high income, partner, or kids. I still enjoyed the visit and stood firm in my own worth. I also noticed myself feeling less triggered with my parents too, when they express their concerns as criticism and name-calling me a “Loser” and “Failure.” I am able to logically dismantle and address their concerns, providing some reassurance. I even developed a “Facing Family” mini-course, and you can listen to a free sample on my podcast ep HERE.

18) Oddly enough, sharpening my pickleball game with several months of being able to play consistently. I was even asked by some people if I gave lessons or coaching! The familiar Imposter Syndrome popped up (“wouldn’t I need a certification??”) but I was able to catch it. I had never considered that avenue before but it makes a lot of sense. When people reflect to you what are your gifts…I guess it pays to listen.

19) Returning to the US intending to take a day job… but then realizing, I don’t reaaally need it. I can bet on myself. I’m doing it; I’m getting there; keep going.

20) Committing to ART, with intuitive & therapeutic qualities. I started a separate Art Instagram account and pledged to draw every day in 2025. I had the pleasure of working with a business consultant who suggested the slogan “Bringing You A-Ha Through Ha-Ha!” and reflected that my whole body lights up whenever I talk about my art. I have sooo many ideas I want to finally birth – children’s books, brochures for women’s health clinics, and of course my manga (Japanese comic) of 5+ years, addressing feminism, community, isolation, bullying, and other issues teens commonly face. For 2025, I’m commiting to drawing & sharing every day on a new Instagram account. Email me with custom art requests & commissions for portraits, caricatures, or intuitive readings at DrTooni@Mail.com

21) Learning even more about myself as a suspected demisexual and even platoniromantic. I love the spirit of people, not necessarily the outer packaging, but I’m still figuring it out, so can’t fully own it yet. I CAN embrace my identity as a proudly Neurodivergent (Highly Sensitive Person HSP and suspected ADHD) wacky weirdo artist now though. After all, usually only the crazies can step out of the box enough to make big changes, right? I now see my unique, slightly deranged and cuckoo brain as something beautiful instead of something defective and having to be carefully hidden. I write rather formally, but if you hang out with me in person prepare yourself for random silliness, quippy & sometimes inappropriate remarks! XD

22) Falling in love again like a giddy schoolgirl. I had thought I was too old for that, too jaded. I felt years younger again and alive, and noticed a new quality to this love, one closer to a sense of unconditional in that I was happy to just be around this person, in their loving presence and energy. I can now understand why someone people say they’re grateful to just have their special person in their life, and don’t need anything from them, but receiving from them would just be a bonus.

Lowlights / Low Moments / What Didn’t Go Well:

1) I almost drowned in the ocean in Bali in March. It was a huge and unexpected shock, and I found myself in some dark thoughts in the moment as well. I wrote in more detail about it in a private post to my Email Newsletter list, email me if you’re curious to read it.

2) Many moments of the vague, repetitive, pervasive feelings of feeling like a Loser (as my family sees me), in that I still haven’t reached certain goals that matter to me (finding my Life Partner and making a good income from my passion work). It strikes at random times, some days are worse than others, and usually the mornings. And there’s this feeling that I’ve been stuck or going around in circles but not really getting anywhere with my life. The Tiger that deems that whatever I do is never enough (even when I list them out as above).

3) Two heartbreaks. Never have I ever had 2 in one year, but hopefully this means I’ve at least become somewhat more efficient evaluating compatibility? I took an intentional Heart Sabbatical, staying single for at least 1 year, since I had a history of staying in relationships too long before, but I also don’t want to become too quick to jump ship, likely due to my evolving attachment styles. I am grateful at least that I learned more about how important emotional safety, availability, and responsiveness are for me. I also experienced a mirror of someone who rushed the usual timeline even more than I do, unintentionally but logistically, due to my lifestyle. It puts pressure on others when I say, “Hey I’m a nomad, we only have 3 months to get to know each other to decide if we want to commit to trying to travel together!” It CAN happen, I’ve heard of people knowing when it’s right in as little as a few weeks, and I do believe love is a choice and action, not just a feeling, and it also honors both people’s time, but it is also another obstacle because rushing can sometimes ruin what otherwise might’ve worked out. I had already started slowing down and leaving plans open-ended so I could stay longer or go back for a promising connection. But now I’m adding on the possibility of traveling together but separately in different accommodations, since it can be hard to share space suddenly with a relative stranger.

4) Not making back the investments I made into my business. I have yet to make back even just the money I put into a program. I know I have so many money blocks, but it wasn’t about the money; it was about my self-trust, which started to erode. I increasingly felt helpless and powerless, that no matter what I did, I just wouldn’t be able to figure this out. However, when I expanded my view to beyond just looking at cold hard cash, SO MUCH came to me from my investments, not just lessons, but goodwill, gifts, connections, and offerings from others. Housesitting easily made/saved me $10,000 worth of rent already, and people I met even briefly supported me by buying my book, giving me random opportunities, or gifting me art notebooks or drawings.

5) A regression to my anxious attachment style where I felt really ungrounded, graspy, and even panicky, really wanting a certain outcome and wanting it with such urgency that I couldn’t hold space for ambiguity, a gray area, or access the logical parts of my brain. I felt in some ways like a little girl again, unable to be strong enough for herself, which I thought I had fully healed from, but I guess this was a lesson that it will always be something we need to manage, there will always be some scars and weak spots that might re-open, depending on the situation and dynamic, and that’s OK. Later on I was able to step back and observe myself, and pull myself out of this, recognizing that it’s just an old wound flaring up, it made sense why it did, and that I had a choice to stop choosing this sort of chaos, and choose peace instead.

6) A moment of caregiver’s worry and panic. I had always felt pretty maternal towards my 12-year-younger sister (probably as a result of Eldest Daughter Syndrome), and when she came to visit me and went out to the city with her friend and I hadn’t heard from her by 10 pm, I noticed myself getting anxious and sent a text. When I still didn’t hear back at 11, I texted again and called. Still no response. I still tried to stay calm; I knew the last train back was at midnight, but still thought it was unusual to not hear from her, so I found her friend on Facebook and sent a message as well. I had a taste of what it must be like for many parents, worrying about your child, and how my parents worry about me, an international solo nomadic female traveler for 6 years now, which I knew cognitively but it’s a deeper understanding if it’s experiential. (It turns out there was an issue with my iMessages and I didn’t see her replies! She was fine.)

7) The loneliness and isolation of spending the major holidays Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s away from my family while seeing many others spend it with theirs. I chose to take this 2-month long housesit in California as a new experience, to have my own space so I could re-focus on myself and my goals, since I had spent many holidays with my family and knew how they usually went. I also stayed with them for a few months already the past year and didn’t want to add burden with overstaying. I knew some friends in the area but they were all 30+ min away so I didn’t see them as much as I thought I would. I felt once again the difference between expectation and reality, and how we can make ourselves miserable by having rigid expectations. I did find my rhythm though, finding new friends, activities, and a routine that I enjoyed. It took work though, and I wasn’t quite expecting to start all over again for this, but I’m glad I came out with a renewal in my self-trust that I can build community and make a home out of anywhere. What started off as something I regretted taking turned out ending with so much joy, love, fun, and new friends that I absolutely wouldn’t trade it for anything else!

Not a bad ratio of 3:1 for Highlights and Lowlights though 🙂


How was your 2024? If you’d like to process your High and Lowlights, or even transmute some good things out of your Lowlights, send me a message or book a session (first one is free/donations-based)!

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