Reflections & lessons from my 2 month experience at the Nomads Nepal coliving community Feb-March 2025.

This year I invested in a coliving community experience for the first time. I had thought about it for YEARS, but was always afraid I’d pay the extra cost (2-3x more than getting my own accommodation) and regret it because I didn’t genuinely connect with anyone.

I know that sounds ridiculous, because many people have told me I’m so easy to talk to and connect with. I’m warm, open, friendly, and trusting, unless given good reason to be otherwise (with sometimes too wide a window of tolerance or slow speed 😅)

But for me, there’s a difference between getting along with and truly vibing on a soul level. A deep, genuine, soulful, mutually nourishing connection, has been hard to come by in my life. I’ve gone through multiple schools, programs, cohorts, leaving with no real friends and feeling terribly lonely, and I was so worried about repeating that.

(I realize now it was partly because I wasn’t living authentically before, until my 30s; I was a social chameleon and shapeshifter trying to blend in, to not offend anyone and keep the peace, but as a result, didn’t really have much of a memorable personality, or at least didn’t allow people to get to know the real me.

I was a go-to person for supporting others, but didn’t allow myself to be supported or to reveal when I was having a hard time, and avoided conflict like the plague. I thought I needed to be perfect to be liked/loved, when that is the very thing that prevents or repels deep friendships.

I’ve learned and grown a lot since then, and while I still make many mistakes, I attempt to relate genuinely now, as my messy, imperfect, authentic self, and as a result, am so fortunate to have a few very close friends in my life now, even though we’re scattered over the globe.)

This Friendship Pyramid was an interesting model I came across. While I don’t agree with the numbers on the sides, since people have different capacity levels, I do agree that our energy is finite/limited so can’t and don’t need too many besties. As a highly sensitive introvert, I’d rather go deep with a few than have a wide network of many, but this takes mutual effort, intention, vulnerability, reciprocity, balance, time, and shared experiences.

I love connecting virtually, but part of me also missed in-person companionship, logistical support, and loving touch. Someone who knows if I came home that day. Someone I could ask to get me medicine if I wasn’t feeling well enough to go on my own. Someone to just be with silently, sharing the same view or activity. Someone to hold me while I licked my wounds and gathered strength for the next battle.

This doesn’t need to be a romantic partner. As I’ve written before in other posts, love comes in so many forms and it’s unhealthy to put it all on one source or person. I yearned for a family, just simply people who cared, supported, and looked out for one another while living close together.

After I burned out solo traveling, culminating in a moment of almost drowning in Bali and no one would’ve known, I knew I had to do things differently.

I’m so glad I finally invested in a coliving and can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner. It was exactly what I’ve been looking for and needing in many ways. Almost instant community, a sense of togetherness, a baseline overlap of values, looking out for each other, and potential for future planning with fellow nomads & travelers who shared a more openness and willingness to connect than most.

I had gone to nomad events before, but it was hard to mingle and meet people I wasn’t sure I’d ever see again, and it became tiring to have the same small talk introductions (where we’re from, how long we’ve been traveling and where to, how we fund such travels, etc). But in the coliving setting, you knew you would be seeing these people almost every day, sometimes even if you didn’t intend to.

Sometimes the Mere Exposure Effect in psychology works in our favor (did you know people used to marry those who lived closest to them because they saw them the most frequently?)

Though some coliving members were more reserved and kept to themselves than others, seeing them at events or passing by at breakfast strengthened our relationship wordlessly, and there was a quiet sense of belonging, even if only for 1 month. I had the good fortune of staying 2 months, with a few others also extending, but even if I had just stayed 1 month, I would have still left with significant friendships and connections. Quantity matters, but quality of the time spent together is more important.

We had so many internal and external adventures together, from multi-day hikes in the gorgeous snowy Himalayan mountains, paragliding, kayaking, biking, swimming, skating, food tours, dessert crawls, yoga, sound healing, visiting Buddha’s birthplace (Lumbini), art therapy sessions, business support & sharing our skills, and of course, deep conversations late into the nights as we bared our souls and navigated difficult things as they came up in real-time intensity.

Some of the challenges & lessons I was grateful for in this particular accelerated life classroom – navigating group dynamics, differing opinions & expectations, conflicts, not losing myself in other people’s energies, checking in with myself & making space for enough self-care, solo & unstructured time, re-defining my relationship with loving touch, and re-thinking what my relational needs are and how I label or don’t label them.

The people I met were incredible! The most unique, diverse, interesting souls seemed to be drawn to Nepal especially, which has a special spiritual pulse of its own. Each person was on their own path of healing, discovery, and adventure, and there was an almost instant sense of community, family, loyalty, and ease, since we shared so many core values.

Many were also looking for a nomadic, semi-nomadic or location-flexible tribe as we explore the world together, and we already made plans for when and where we’d meet next as we build one together. The past year I had been putting together a “Nomads’ Nest,” a tight-knit group of location-independent people who prioritized community, with even a Global Conscious Dating Matchmaking Directory and this dream seemed to be coming into fruition with every day!

Because while places are amazing, the shared experiences with people matter most. They enhance and enrich the experience; why settle for one without the other? After 6 years mostly solo nomading, this lesson has become increasingly clearer.

I was also invited to speak at a local school in Nepal on mental health, relationships, and sex education!

It was tough to balance my personal message for sex ed (nothing shameful about it, it’s ok to be curious and explore, just be safe!) with the cultural and religious constraints in this unfortunately imbalanced country where sex before marriage is forbidden.

Also, girls struggle to get an education sometimes simply because they don’t have enough pads and supplies for their menstrual periods so they stay at home!!

And they’re expected to marry young and not work outside the home if they do, which many brave souls I’ve met, including our female trekking guide, chose to opt out of.

My message advocated for waiting to get to know someone really well, riding out the honeymoon limerance phase, and making one’s first time special, especially since the brain doesn’t fully finish maturing until about age 27!

The students were shy but curious so the anonymous paper slip questions worked well. I was touched by the depth and thoughtfulness of their questions! And their challenges the questions reflected.

I’m not sure if it’ll make a long term difference in the rates of teen pregnancies or dropouts, but whatever I can do to make a difference, as the extremely privileged person I am, hopefully every bit helps.

As a side adventure, I also somehow deeply bonded with our coliving hotel’s stray dog, Pepe, to the point where she followed me around every time I went out, even to the top of this mountain hike (15 km and 1500m high)!! How was she not exhausted?!

I’ve never adopted pets before, but I imagine this is what it’s like to have a best friend and companion. She protected me, even when she was attacked by other dogs (once 3 ambushed her at a time!!!)

I don’t know if I was more looking out for her, or she for me, as we weaved through the chaotic streets together. We protected each other. And walked everywhere together, into shops, restaurants, she even tried following me out onto the rollerskating rink!

While I can meet my human friends again elsewhere in the world, Pepe will only be in Nepal. She knew we were leaving and could sense the collective grief and impending loss.

There were lots of tears and sleepless nights. Though I made plans with several to meet again in Europe over the summer, and even found 2 travel companions for the next leg of Asia (Thailand and Vietnam), it was still a change, and a loss.

The bittersweet transience of the nomad life is hardest when you have to say goodbye, even when you’re excited to say hello to the next adventure.

But it’s a microcosm and reminder of life in general — we’re all only visitors. Everything has to end. Don’t be sad something’s over; be glad it happened, and savor every moment. Because we truly don’t know how long we have 💜🥹

Thank you so much to all the incredible souls I met during this journey and for all the warm invitations to come visit your homes, roadtrip together, and/or meet up again 💜

And to Danny Flood for organizing this coliving and bringing us all together, and for offering me a role as a community manager if I’m ever back in the future. It was funny how I naturally, unintentionally was one anyway, and was apparently so helpful this job opportunity was created for me! (I also was a Hugging trendsetter, normalizing morning and evening hugs, as an unofficial platonic touch therapist.)

I’ll aim to be back for the September 2025 coliving and the Nomads conference in August (if you’d like to join us, or join my Nomads’ Nest community or Global Conscious Dating Matchmaking Directory just contact me! And as always, happy to chat if you’d like rather book a call for support or questions. If there’s anything I can do to help you in your journey, you’re always welcome to reach out.

Life is hard enough as it is. But good people co-regulate us and make it better, giving us the strength to face our demons, reach our dreams, and weather the storms individually and together. That is my sincere belief, and heartfelt wish for you to find your tribe, feel less alone, always loved, and infinitely supported <3