Just a quick update that after several times of taking too long to explain my original website name (“LTNoM(a)D“), I decided to change the URL/domain to “Dr. Tooni.”
It fits better anyway, and I feel more settled in this new identity.
I had been torn about what to focus on since my childhood dream was to be a carTOONIst, but I’ve also gotten so into personal growth + development, life coaching, and mental health.
Not to mention women’s equality, reproductive rights, sexual education + liberation, body love/intuitive health management/exercise, and diversity/inclusion and social justice!
Ahhh I’ve felt so scattered for a while!! I would get bursts of inspiration, energy, and desire to focus on one area, thinking “THIS is my true calling!”
But then getting fatigued, spinning out, and hopping back to another area. I felt like a fraud, prey to “Shiny Object Syndrome” and unable to really focus.
Was it out of fear of failure? What if I went ALL IN on one thing and it STILL didn’t work out? I was just dipping my toes on the sidelines instead of diving in, right?
But then I’ve also heard that it’s ABSOLUTELY OKAY to be a multi-passionate multi-potentialite. Some people even work BEST when they rotate among multiple projects!
What was really going on here?? Could BOTH be true?
After some deep soul-searching, I feel more grounded. Yes, there has been fear. But, I HAD been giving my all.
I had been investing so much time, energy, and money in cultivating my skills and honing my craft. I bought countless courses, read so many books and podcasts, worked with mentors, coaches, and fellow entrepreneurs.
Not a day went by when I didn’t actively think about and try to improve on my passions. I was discounting this as “real” work since it didn’t feel like work.
I just couldn’t let any of the dreams go. They were planted in my heart for a reason.
I’ve noticed that I might have more energy and self-motivation than average. I was working 80 hour weeks in medicine and STILL managed to do all my self-care, exercise, cook, and have a very active and adventurous social life. I CAN handle all these projects and dreams. They are ALL meaningful, and fulfill different parts of me.
Even my identity as a doctor, which I had been so ambivalent about before, now is interwoven as a part of my me.
I didn’t want people to know about my past before when I first started this entrepreneurial journey.
I now say it proudly because I’ve now spent 15+ years with that honor and privilege working closely with and touching patients’ lives, and also getting top-quality, very specific training with TONS of transferrable skills. And it fuels my art.
Just as every relationship is a part of me, even if we are no longer in contact, every part of my career is important and beautiful, and I am continuously creating and re-creating it every moment.
I believe that many of us have more than one calling. And what a treat it is, to be able to choose which ones we nourish, and when.
If you look closely, sometimes there’s a theme tying them all together. For me, it’s LOVE. Love for all. Bringing joy to others through art is spreading love; teaching and opening eyes and hearts is based in love; advocating for minority rights and fair treatment is love; helping others reach their dream lives, relationships, bodies, and lifestyles is LOVE.
I even created my own acronym for LOVE (Liberate, Overcome, Validate, Empower). This drives everything I do, and when I work on one area, I am working on them all/improving all the rest as well.
It’s ok to follow my heart, wherever it feels like going at the time. There is no wrong path or wrong way to do things. It doesn’t mean I am flaky of uncommitted if I have “too many” passions. I am not one-dimensional, and neither is anyone else!