Summary: A recent small miracle that almost passed me by…

I’m processing a quiet moment a few months ago, when my mom and I were by my dying grandma’s hospital bedside.

“We don’t know how long we’ll have… so you should spend more time with us.”

I was touched by my mom’s words, which I had always longed to hear and felt so much pain around by the mixed messages I’ve gotten over the years. 

Rules such as “you can visit, but not longer than 2 weeks. You need to get rid of all your stuff or we’ll throw it out (even though they had many spare rooms). What I heard: you’re part of this family…but also not really.

Along with, “you have never brought me joy or pride. You have NOTHING! No money, husband, kids, not even a home!”

I had quietly taken this in and thought, well, the only way I’d be welcome back would be if I became someone who had “something.”

And I wasn’t there yet. So I said, “I’d like to too, but I want to become someone you’re proud of first.”

“We’re already proud of you.”

What. ?!?

Other relatives came into the room, and then we had to take her directly to the airport, so I never got the chance to continue that conversation.

I short-circuited a bit. I wanted to ask, Why? I still don’t have the things you consider(ed) so important to being a respectable human being. What on earth are you proud of me for?

The qualities I had considered “something” – my resilience, my resourcefulness, my kindness, my courage in being authentic, she had never seen or acknowledged before.

I truly wondered what she saw now.

I allowed myself to consider the possibility she might have actually changed.

People CAN change. Miracles are possible.

I wanted to ask later… but I told myself the details don’t matter, hold onto those words. Even if they were just lip service, those words, coming from a Tiger Mom, mean SO much.

Those words you have longed to hear your whole life.

THAT is enough, to allow yourself to belong again. Maybe the battle is finally over. Maybe we can be a family again.

Maybe, after 8 years since I became the biggest Asian disappointment quitting being a doctor… they have come to see that my better health and happiness are worth more than any paycheck.

Maybe there is something special about the number 8. The recent 8/8 Lion’s Gate Portal in August brought up thoughts about shifting timelines, re-birthing, and becoming someone new, free of past stories & burdens.

Whether you believe in it or not, I hope you can take my journey as a piece of data, that miracles are possible. And they can be so quiet, you hardly notice them, until they sink in.

What is your small miracle you may have been overlooking? I’d love to hear from you. Comment or email me at DrTooni@Mail.com or join our Email Newsletter community at bit.ly/drtoonilist

Thank you for being a part of my world, and for your support witnessing my journey. May you also step into your greatest self, highest timeline, and most authentic path.

💖Love, Toni